2003 Year in Review

O'Reilly Reality: The Huckster Factor - I

The lad, tall for his six years, watched from the bathroom doorway as his Irish giant of a father pulled the Gillette double-edged razor through the thin layer of Gillette Foamy shaving cream that covered his soft Irish chin. The sandpapery sound of two-day-old Blue Blade in combat with tough day-old Irish chin whiskers grated the nerves of the boy.

“#&*@%^@#! D—n used blades,” the father cursed, not noticing his impressionable Irish son was taking in every word and gesture. A small globule of blood bulbed brightly on his father’s modestly receding cleft chin, then dripped dispassionately to splotch his father’s white shirt. The boy noticed, strangely to his childish eyes, how the florescent light from the ceiling gave a decidedly blue cast to the white shirt, now darkly stained with his father’s true Irish blood. With a bit of tissue, the father staunched the blood flow and finished his shaving. Only then did he notice his son. He did not particularly like his spoiled son – demanding and full of that never-enoughism that permeated middle-class American children. But he was his son…

He beckoned the lad to him. When the boy drew near, the father slowly handed the Gillette double-edged razor to him. With the experience of watching his father do this manly ritualistic act, the tall-for-his-age boy turned the handle of the Gillette double-edged razor; the head of the razor opened, revealing to full view the thin Blue Blade. He started to remove the blade, but his father stopped him with the firm, dutiful delivery that only an Irish father can show to his Irish son.

“No, son. Never. The blade stays in the razor. Someday you’ll understand.”

Someday? Maybe, but not that morning. As the young, but older looking, boy watched his father slip into his blue suit jacket, pick up his dark blue briefcase, and leave his working-class house for his accountant’s office, Bill O’Reilly swore to himself that he would escape this blue-collar life – never would he be forced, like his father, to use the same razor blade twice.

Fanciful depiction, no? That’s how I envision Bill O’Reilly awakening to the recognition of his miserable middle-class background – excuse me - his miserable working-middle-class Irish-American background.

Bill O’Reilly, the Factor host for Fox News Channel and best-selling author of two, largely regurgitated, non-fiction books wrapped around his Fox show and the No Spin Zone segment, prides himself on his Irishness – when it’s appropriate and to his advantage. He passes himself off as Irish blue collar, hardworking, law-abiding offspring, as if he fears the stereotyped, Irish drudges of the past will stick to his persona. But then, O’Reilly would love to have a background rather like that depicted in Gangs of New York. – up from the dregs of society to the pinnacle of success – the true American rags-to-riches story.

But alas, O’Reilly has no such background. His name may be Irish, but his background is all American. He is a child of America, not of Ireland. He is the offspring of a professional, an accountant for an oil company, not of a slave to the “big money people.” O’Reilly has propagated the image of himself as an average working-class stiff, as witness this opening sentence from his short biography at Creators Syndicate: “Born in Manhattan and raised in the suburb of Levittown, N.Y., Bill O'Reilly had a blue-collar, ethnic upbringing common in the Northeast. He attended Chaminade High School, and spent most of his childhood playing sports and annoying teachers.”

Since Chaminade is a Catholic high school, not a public institution, O’Reilly’s parents would have to live comfortably enough on his father’s salary to afford the tuition. O’Reilly may have “annoyed” his teachers, but he undoubtedly did not push the system – Catholic schools are strict and can easily cut loose an unruly child on the public school system, and frequently do. O’Reilly, then, could not have been an unusually troublesome student. To use his phrase, “Such behavior simply would not have been tolerated.”

It’s so easy to repeat the song and dance that other writers have done, either praising O’Reilly or condemning him to perdition. In some respects he’s worthy of both praise and condemnation. Without a doubt, O’Reilly is a superior “spinmeister” when he’s in his element. He has, to his credit, exposed the shady doings of charity organizations, corrupt corporate practices, and the ineptitude of “sleazy” politicians; at the same time, he’s exposed his own shortcomings as a commentator in his petulant feuds with Jesse Jackson, George Clooney, and Hillary Clinton. In addition, he is guilty of outlandish judgments based on shoddy scholarship, as he revealed in one of his interviews with a United Way official concerning the appropriate use of September 11 donations.

One element of the O’Reilly phenomenon that hasn’t been discussed in the media, however, is O’Reilly’s misuse of the very people he claims to represent, “the people who make this country work, the millions who get up at 6 o'clock in the morning, get home at 6 at night …” These people “don't have a lot of power. And the people that they give power to represent them, more often than not sell them out." (ABCNews.com, November 9, 2001). While O’Reilly may not be selling out “the people,” he is surely taking them for every nickel, dime, and dollar he can.

Bill O’Reilly is a huckster, the freak-show barker with the traveling carnival, the used-car salesman, the door-to-door Fuller brushman with one goal; his goal is to get wealthy – not because he’s ever known poverty – but for the sheer sake of wealth. He is the quintessential charlatan in an industry of charlatans – cable television news.

Outlandish claims? Let’s examine the O’Reilly money-making empire in the next column: O’Reilly Reality: The Huckster Factor – II. Note 1: Check out the internet search engines at www.vivisimo.com and www.google.com for reams of material on O’Reilly, from outrageous attacks on his demeanor to fluff pieces that repeat the hackneyed “blue-collar” background of the columnist. Note 2: I do have an Irish background – not Manhattan, not Catholic, but northern Alabama. I don’t have, however, the defining O’ before my name. But if you like, throw it in: Bill O’Driver – hey, not bad. Like O’Reilly, Rosie O’Donnell, and all the other people born in this country of whatever race, gender, creed, nationality, or ethnic origin, I am an American, imbued with American values.

by William Driver, Guest Columnist
February 10, 2003